Sometimes I am calm and peaceful and sometimes I am evil and quiet and awful. Sometimes I am tired and restless and insane and sometimes I stay in bed all day and watch sitcoms. Sometimes I eat and sometimes I don’t. Sometimes I know what to say and sometimes I disappear and pretend and make believe and imagine and create and destroy and quit my job and hide under blankets and sleep. Sometimes I’m telling the truth and sometimes I’m lying. Sometimes I stay up all night and don’t know why. Sometimes I embarrass myself on purpose to remind myself what it’s like to feel embarrassed. Sometimes I think about everything and sometimes I close my eyes and watch the tiny dots of color swim back and forth and here and there. Sometimes I don’t love anyone, sometimes I hate everybody. Sometimes I’m afraid that I’m laughing too loudly and saying something stupid and sometimes I sit by myself and smile. Sometimes I tear at my own skin and wait until I feel that tiny, wonderful pinprick and sometimes, sometimes I don’t exist at all.
I think that’s all you’ll ever need to know about me.
